Dan Savage and F-Word: The Responses

So I wrote a piece about Dan Savage and his use of the F-word. I had a lot responses via e-mail and Twitter, but a good chunk of them were defending Dan.

I have to say I was shocked, mostly by the reasons they were giving me.

- Some were saying that it was fair because it was a gay man addressing another gay man.
- Or that Dan has done so much for us that he can say whatever he wants.
- And he should go after GOProud, they deserved it.

Well, that's cute, but not good reasons. In fact, they are cheap excuses I have to address.

1.  I think it's horrible for a gay person to attack another gay person with the F-word. It's done out of anger and it's geared to hurt.
2. Dan is not the gay messiah, so stop treating him like one. He's just an outspoken sex columnist. There are far more effective leaders in our community with more accomplishments and less foot-in-mouthritis.
3. And this ain't about GOProud. It was interesting to see how folks blamed GOProud on why Dan used the F-word. It's not their fault, it's Dan's. He wasn't thinking and he said something stupid. Pure and simple.
4. Stop trying to make Dan the victim, just hold him accountable.
5. Defending him opens the door to the Double Standard room. And there's no integrity in the Double Standard room.

 I know he's a hero to some, but heroes have their flaws. In order for them to be better at their game, they have to grow from their mistakes. And if you are a true fan of his, you should help him do better.