My (Partner's) Life: This is how hate sounds

My partner has decided to post the letter his father wrote to him after he came out.

His father disowned him.

I was truly shocked because I never knew anyone personally who experienced this. This really hurt my partner, but now he's ready to share his experience:

In August of 2007, I finally built up the courage to tell my father I was gay. The moment I said it, the phone got quiet and he got off the phone after a few "Okay"s. I decided to give him time to process the news. About a week later, and not long before my birthday, I received the following letter:

"James: This is a difficult but necessary letter to write. I hope your telephone call was not to receive my blessing for the degrading of your lifestyle. I have fond memories of our times together, but that is all in the past. Don’t expect any further conversations With me. No communications at all. I will not come to visit, nor do I want you in my house. You’ve made your choice though Wrong it may be. God did not intend for this unnatural lifestyle. If you choose not to attend my funeral, my friends and family will understand. Have a good birthday and good life. No present exchanges will be accepted. Goodbye, Dad."

It's important to know just what this zealotry from Bryan Fisher, Maggie Gallagher, Dan Cathy, et al., does to everyday people. I've never done drugs, was an excellent student, an obedient child (far less trouble than many of my classmates), didn't drink until I was 22 because it terrified me, and have had just 1 speeding ticket in my life. Yet I am still seemingly deserving of this terrible act of hate and cowardice that one person can place on another. 5 years on and I am still doing fine, though this letter saunters into my mind every once in a while. When it does, I say without hesitation: Fuck you, Dad.

Flashback 2002: I took a Bottoming Class

In 2002, I took a class in gay sex. At the time, I was a virgin (kinda). I never had anal sex and I wanted to learn how to be a good bottom. So, I thought I should get all the info I needed to be prepared.

That night, I was a little nervous.  I walked into the room with my little notebook and took a seat in the front of the class. For 3 hours, I learned a lot about bottoming, like: how to prepare, which lubes to use and the power of the prostate. There were over 20 men there. Most were bottoms who had the worst horror stories, I will spare y'all the details. And rest of the guys were tops learning how to treat bottoms. There stories were crazy too, but it was good to see them look out for their 'catchers'.

I asked a lot questions and at one point, I thought someone was going to hit me with a book. But the class and the instructor were patient with me. There was so much I never knew. Thank Hera I waited to get my cherry popped, I felt ready and well prepared.

However, there was one thing I didn't do. The instructor told us to buy a dildo and try it out. I wasn't ready for that. I needed help with that lesson.

5 Things Folks say to me when They meet Me

1. You're really nice.
2. I thought you would be taller.
3. Is your hair heavy?
4. Are those your real eyes?
5. How do you blog all the time? Do you work?

There are others, but these are my favorite ones.

My Life: The Bathroom

The other day, I was in the bathroom stall at the gym. Suddenly, 'Jump' from the Pointer Sisters came on and I started tapping my foot to the song.

As I reached for the tissue, I noticed a cock poking out from under the stall.

I was SHOCKED! I couldn't believe it, but then it hit me... Foot tapping is a code for understall play. I kindly told him that I was not interested and he had a cute cock. Then, I told him to be careful about hooking up in bathrooms.

I hope he listened.

My Life: When Bank of America called...

My bank called about some suspicious activity on my card.

The agent listed charges from 7 For All Mankind, Lacoste, Ralph Lauren, Dairy Queen and J. Crew.

I told her those charges were from me and asked what was the trigger.

 She said the charge from Dairy Queen... I almost hung up the phone.

My Pride Story

Back in 2004, I marched in the NYC Pride parade. I was a part of the students and staff of Cornell group, there were about 20 of us at the time. Several them wanted to carry signs to express how they were out and proud. I wanted to do something different.

At the time, the media was all over the whole 'DL' thing. JL King went on Oprah and started a firestorm about Black Gay men being on the down low. After that mess, it felt like there was a target on our backs. So, I thought, "Why not change the message?" The night before the march, my best friend and I decided we would carry signs that said: NO DOWN LOW HERE and PROUD BLACK MAN. We were convinced it was the best thing we could do to send a new message out there.

The next day, we were set and ready to go. We took our signs and headed down the avenue. When we were marching, I remember seeing the faces of the Black men in the crowd. They were cheering and supporting us all the way. I was overflowed with so much emotion that it felt like I was flying. My friend was also on a cloud as well.

What we were doing had a powerful effect. Seeing the Black LGBT fam giving us so much love, truly inspired me. In fact, I think it was in that moment I knew I had to do more for our community.
Marching in that parade, made me realized what Pride was all about. It also made me very aware of the job I had to do.

So, at NYC Pride 2004... I became an activist and it's been one hell of a ride.

Me, sometimes

I feel like this at least once a week