Sweltering Sage

Summer in Texas. I'm currently lacking imagination. Awake to 80s, Asleep to high 90s. Beware touching any body parts to exposed car seats, steering wheel, all metal pieces. Towels on lawn chairs prior to outdoor activity. The pool is a huge spa. Yes, I'm grateful for a pool. Now I want it not just wet, but cold.

Thesaurus words: heat, sweat, swelter, stew, simmer, boil, smolder, parch, torrid, tropical, sultry, stifling,suffocating, oppressive, hellish = Texas

There's always a bright side. The purple sage that bakes on the west side of the house burst into full glory.

The average number of days over one hundred degrees in a Texas summer is fifteen. We are on our fourteenth day, having started in May this year. The longest stretch was 1980 with over sixty days, and the highest recorded temperature of 113. I'm satisfied if we don't break that record.

I am working on flash fiction for the Hot August Nights issue of Doorknobs and Bodypaint. Surely, I have enough experience to write a steamy tale. Backdrop - a sweltering sage.

Heated Words

After a heatstroke inducing trip to Arizona one year (Honest to God, the GPS lost its mind - had no clue where it was in the hot car), we did come away with one awesome idea - misters. My handy husband said, "I can do that" and indeed installed connective hoses on our patio overhang. Now in crazy heatstroke inducing Texas summer, we turn on the mister system and cool down poolside. It works - physically and mentally.

Let's talk about hot movies. One of my favorites is Body Heat, starring William Hurt, Kathleen Turner, and Ted Danson. My favorite line from Mattie is "You're not too smart are you? I like that in a man." Oh baby. And when she steps out onto the patio with all the windchimes - indeed, you think it'll be a breath of fresh air. But the tinkling chimes only beckon you to the hair dryer effect.

How about A Time to Kill - Ashley Judd and Matthew McC. spritzing all over the place in Mississippi. Good read by John Grisham, decent flick.

The Long Hot Summer - classic Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. There's acting royalty steaming up the screen.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof - Elizabeth Taylor as Maggie the cat, and again Paul Newman. Meow

White Heat - can't go wrong with classic Jimmy Cagney

Here's proof folks - the temp at 5:21 pm on Sat. 7/11 was 104 F on our patio. I'm afraid the wireless sensor could implode soon.

Hot television - F/X features Rescue Me on Tuesday nights. Sure there's plenty of sexual heat outside the firehouse, but frankly the dialogue in the firehouse is snappy, snarky, and hilarious. Great writing.

Starting soon on AMC - Mad Men 1960s Madison Avenue advertising. Slick sets, great characters and writing, plus January Jones with Jon Hamm. It doesn't get much hotter.

So, there's plenty of ways to cool off and survive the heat. There's always Fargo - probably one of the snow whitest, coldest looking sets for a movie. But sharp, funny, sick (in a good way) dialogue with Bill Macy and Frances McDormand - cool, very cool filmmaking.

Tell me your HOT picks for summer.........books, tv, movies - old and new............

Joanne